Bully, Best Friend And Lover
by TheOneAndOnlyEms19
Summary: Santana Lopez has bullied Brittany all her life. One mistake changed Brittany's life for the worst. How can Brittany surive her senior year with Santana constantly bullying her? Will Santana change her bullying ways for the blue eyed girl? Contains cutting, depression, violence/abuse. G!P Brittany.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **

**Hi! I've had this story in mind for a while now and I just thought I should try it out. This story will contain cutting, depression, violence/abuse so if this triggers you in anyway and makes things worse I suggest you don't read it. I haven't experienced bullying, bullying and depression so I'm not sure if this is all correct, I'm just going from personal experiences from my friends and family. **

Santana Lopez.

The girl who changed my life, ruined it even more than it already was. I knew from the first moment I met her when we were in kinder garden that she was bad news. Trouble. I just didn't realize how much trouble she was and that I was her favorite target.

My parents, brothers and everyone else that Santana, now biggest bully and head cheerleader at McKinley High school, told now knows about my cuts. My dad saw them on my arms. My parents told me that I need a doctor for being so messed up. They've taken everything away from me because of it. Apparently, I'm too young to be depressed. That it's fake and I'm just copying other people who do it. My dad hit me when he saw them and my mum got scared and thought that I would hurt my own little brothers.

I don't know what to do anymore. My parents won't treat me the same anymore. They never really treated me very good but the way they treated me before they found out was way better than the way they currently treat me. They want to send me to a fucking doctor so I can get my head straight! Suicide seems like the only escape.

How can I stop the pain? My 'best friend' told me the sooner I commit suicide, the better. How can someone I've known my whole life just walk away from me because they found out about my darkest secret? Aren't friends exposed to be there for you no matter what the situation is? I'm still the same person I was before they found out. Why can't they see that?

I know Santana has always hated me, most people at my school do. I could always handle the slushies, hateful words and violence against me but Santana crossed the line. She thought it would be fun to spread my secret about cutting with everyone. It's funny how one mistake can ruin your life. This could've been avoided if I had just left school without showering after gym class last period.

Of course I shower when everyone leaves so no will see my cuts. There was also the big problem of being born different. I was born with a penis instead of a vagina. No, I didn't have a sex change and I was never a boy. I was just simply born with a male part instead of a lady part. It is some rare condition. So, when I realized I left my clothes on the bench in the change rooms I just wrapped my towel around my body and walked back into the change rooms. No one will see my body because everyone has left right?

Wrong.

Santana stood in the change rooms with my clothes in her arms. I think her plan was to take my clothes so I was forced to do a nudie run to my car but once she saw the cuts on my body she gasped, dropping my clothes on the ground before running off. I'm lucky Santana didn't see my member because of the towel wrapped around my body.

The next day everyone knew and the bullying got worse. I was still shocked from being hit by my father the night before because he spotted the cuts on my wrists so it made everything worse when I started to get bashed after school, tossed into the dumpsters afterwards. With my best friend no longer in my life that meant I had no one there to help me afterwards so I just lay there in pain, watching the bright blue sky as the sun inched lower and lower into the sky.

I took the rest of my junior year off because I couldn't stand the bullying anymore. My dad continued hitting me every since he found out, getting a good beating every once and a while. He claims he's just speeding up my journey to death. I'm barely allowed to see my little brothers anymore and my mum has moved me into a big caravan in the backyard that is the size of two bedrooms because she fears for her own safety.

I told my dad that I didn't want to talk about my cutting and my depression and he just said, "Yeah? Come talk to me when you're ready. Possibly and preferably after you've tried to hang yourself. Maybe the lack of oxygen to that stupid little brain of yours would help." That hurt. Really hurt. It feels like I don't know anyone in my family anymore. I have eight brothers so when I was growing up I didn't feel as lonely as I should have with only one friend but when my best friend and brothers were taken out of my life, I felt like I was the only person in the world who could be there for me.

Over the time that I took my junior year I met Blaine and Mike. They both attend Dalton Academy. It's an private all-boys boarding school. The school strictly enforces a zero-tolerance bullying policy, protecting their students from any kind of bullying. I sometimes wish I could go there because no one would judge and bully me.

I was at the coffee shop enjoying my time away from my family when Blaine and Mike approached me. Apparently they knew who I was because of course Santana had made it her mission to make sure everyone in this little town knew about my problems. They already knew about the bullying and the cutting but they didn't judge me. We've been friends ever since then but the only negative thing about this is that we go to different schools. It would be nice to have some friends at my school that would help me through the bullying, someone to hold my hand and tell me it's okay while they help me out of the dumpster.

xxxxxx

I woke up bright and early for school, my arm aching from last night but I ignored it as best as I could. I take a quick shower before throwing on a plain black hoodie, tight blue skinny jeans and black combat boots. I put my hair up in a messy bun before making myself some toast. Luckily, this caravan has a small kitchen and bathroom in it so I can actually live in it without having to bother my family.

I brushed my teeth after I finished eating and then applied a light coat of make up on my unnaturally pale face, trying to my best to cover up the remaining bruises that marked my face from my dad. The sparkle in my eyes that I used to have was gone and there was slightly dark circles under my eyes that stood out against my skin tone.

I drive to school slowly, savoring every minute before I get back to school. I'm only returning to school because I almost failed my junior year last year and if I don't come back this year for my senior year I may never graduate high school. If I failed that means that I would have to stay another year at this hell hole and I don't think I can handle that.

Heads turned as I stepped out of my car. I walked into the school with my eyes downcast and my shoulders slumped trying not to attract any attention. That was the last thing I needed right now. I was quickly pushed up against the lockers and was greeted with a punch on my jaw. Pain shot through my face and I could already feel it bruising. I looked up to see Sam with his fist raised once more, Santana standing by his side with a smirk on her face.

"Welcome back Blondie." Santana laughed as Sam landed another hit to my face, hitting my cheek this time. I groaned in pain and cupped my cheek. "What's wrong Miss Cuts A Lot?" She taunted. I felt my stomach drop at the nickname, anger building up inside me.

Sam landed one more punch, to my stomach this time, before walking away with Santana with smug smiles on their faces. I dropped to my knees now clutching my stomach and wheezed in a breath that I was desperate for. The crowd of onlookers showed no sympathy for me as they continued walking through the halls heading to their first class.

It felt like a lifetime before I could get my strength back to get onto my feet again. I made my way to my Spanish class hesitantly because I knew that most of the popular people would be in this class. They thought it was an easy subject to pass. Mr. Shue is pretty chilled out about homework and assignments, nothings to difficult in his classes.

I felt my confidence, well whatever's left of it, slip with every step I take towards my Spanish class. I could hear people laugh and call me names like 'Scissor hands' or 'Blade'. I tried not to let it get to me.

When I walked into the Spanish classroom I hurriedly made my way to the only spare seat in the room that was in the middle of the room but before I could get to the seat I was tripped over by someone's leg. I ungracefully stumbled to the ground as people laughed hysterically at me. rushed over and helped me up with a concerned look on his face.

"Are you alright Brittany?" He asked, worry lacing his voice.

"Never been better." I smiled weakly before sitting in my seat.

He nodded, unconvinced but headed back to the front of the classroom to begin the lesson. All through the lesson I felt the continuous thump of papers hitting my back. It's not like I'm not used to this but I haven't been back to school since the middle of last year so tuning them out isn't that easy anymore. I would be lying if I had said that being at home instead of school was any better but at least at home it was only my mum and dad targeting me, not most of the school. I had Blaine and Mike's dorms to go to if I didn't want to be at home but at school I was stuck in a classroom with my bullies for most of the day. I wonder is Blaine and Mike would stop the bullying if they came to this school? Probably not. It's kind of selfish to use the boys, who are now the closest thing I have to best friends, to help stop my bullying. It's not their problem so they shouldn't deal with it.

I learnt very little for the rest of the Spanish class. Being spaced out is one of my few talents. People usually think I'm just dumb but I just get distracted easily and over think. I don't expect them to understand me but I'm not really sure if I want them to understand me.

The rest of the day passed by unfairly long. Once the final bell rang I basically sprinted out of the school. I drive home quickly and before I know it I'm in the safety of my caravan working on the unnecessarily large amount of homework that no one should have to do on their first day of school. I don't really mind though. Homework is a good distraction. I'm actually quite smart at most subjects but I'm not the best with Spanish. I don't know why I need to learn a different language when I'm their still trying to teach us English. Dutch is easy to speak though since I grew up with my parents teaching me Dutch instead of English. I guess they didn't really think it through because I was confused on my first day of kinder garden when everyone was talking in English and I couldn't understand anything they were saying. I just thought everyone spoke Dutch but clearly not.

After I finished all my homework, apart from Spanish which I struggled with and just ended up scrunching up the worksheet and throwing it in the bin, I changed into some sleep wear and lay in my bed. It usually took me a few hours aimlessly looking at my ceiling to get to sleep but I guess today took a lot of energy out of me, more than I expected.

I closed my heavy eyelids and let sleep consume me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

**Author's note:**

**Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites! I really appreciate it.**

**This chapter does contain abuse, cutting and bullying. I'm just warning ya'll. If you have any questions or ideas for this story, let me know and I will see what I can do. (:**

**Once again, I haven't experienced most of these things but I have done research and I've got my friends and family's experiences to help. All mistakes are mine! **

My arm shook slightly, trying to get away from the pain as the razor sliced through the pale skin. It glided through my already slashed wrists, not deep enough to end my life but enough to cause pain. Blood trailed down my arm, painting my skin red. I winced slightly as the razor slashed time after time on my arm bringing a harsh pain. My sadness, pain and anger trailed away with the blood which just encouraged me even more. The pain was horrible but it felt much more bearable than the bullying at school, the violence at home and the taunting words coming from shameless people's mouths. Everything in my life, all the problems and people that have made me this way, caused all my yells, screams, whimpers and sobs of agony coming from my lips as the razor continued its painful masterpiece on my now blood stained arm.

One cut.

Two cuts.

Three cuts.

A single cut could end my life. All my problems would disappear and I would finally be at peace but is that a sign of giving up? Would I want to die knowing that everyone around me won? This is what they want. They just want me to give up and die already. All these years of cutting and I've never ended my life, there's something stopping me. I don't exactly know what's stopping me though. Maybe someone to try to save me? To help me get better and to tell me that I am worth it, I'm worth living for. In the back of my mind I know that it's not going to happen but there's that little sparkle of hope left in me. Quickly running out but its still there. Blaine and Mike are helping but for some reason it's not enough. When I'm with them it's hard to believe that I'm worth living because I feel like such a burden. I would hate to be friends with me because you would probably have to deal with some of my problems following you around. Why would anyone want that? Why do I make things so difficult?

I let out a grunt of frustration and threw the razor across the room breathing heavily. Rage, sorrow, rejection, desperation, longing and emptiness flashed through my mind. All my pent up emotions are just getting too much to bear. I scream out in frustration, clawing at my skin and kicking out my feet.

Make it stop.

Make it stop.

Make it stop!

My head felt like it was going to explode because so many thoughts were running through it at once. I let out a chocked sob as I slid down the wall slowly, blood now all over my clothes as I hugged my body. Rocking back and forth to the sound of my swift heart beat that I could hear in my ears, I looked down at the mess. I unwrapped my arms around my body and brought my knees up to my chest.

I ran my fingertips across the cuts softly, painting my fingertips in the red color I have learnt to enjoy seeing over time.

I sniffled loudly and wiped my tears away before hauling myself up. My legs wobbled a bit but I successfully made my way over to the sink of my small bathroom and ran my arm under the cold water. I watched as the blood mixed with the water before washing the contents down the sink. I felt a little light headed but it's not the bad kind. It's like after you cry and then you feel better, only much stronger. It's like a release.

It might not be the safest, healthiest or smartest thing to do but it's one of the only times I feel like I can control what's happening to my body, not anyone else.

xxxxxx

Blaine, Mike and I sat around a small wooden table at The Lima Bean. It was the same table where I was sitting on the first day we met. Mike was talking non-stop about a girl named Olivia that he has a massive crush on. Blaine was listening attentively which made a tiny smile grace my face. The Lima Bean is a popular place but it's never so busy that it seems overcrowded. It just feels cozy and homey. It's one of my favorite places to go.

I looked around aimlessly, bored of listening to Mike talking about Olivia. My gaze stopped on a table in the corner. Two pairs of eyes stared back at me and I felt the familiar chill of fear creep over my body. Santana and Sam looked at me intently with matching smirks. Just my luck. All I wanted was to hang out with my two best friends but no; fate had to throw my two bullies into the mix.

"Is that Santana?" Blaine questions with a sympathetic look on his face.

"Yeah. And her boyfriend Sam." I sigh, slumping down further in my chair.

"Do you want to leave?"

My hands were shaking uncontrollably and all I wanted to do was run away. Run away from them and everyone else in The Lima Bean that I will probably get humiliated in front of knowing Santana and Sam. See? All my problems follow Mike and Blaine around. I'm a burden to them. I'm just getting in the way.

Mike's hand on my arm snapped me out of my thoughts. Blaine and Mike were both standing with their drinks in their hands ready to leave. They knew how much Santana has affected my life and if the looks on their faces give away anything, it's that they don't want her anywhere near me.

I reluctantly stand up, my body on high alert, and walked out of the small café with the two boys. My heart clenched when I took in the sight in front of me. My car tires were slashed and spray painted across the hood of my car was perfectly straight red lines. It was clear that the lines resembled my cuts. Mike and Blaine gasped loudly next to me when they saw my car as I stumbled back a few steps, hitting into Mike. Tears welled up in my eyes but I mentally begged myself not to cry. Not here and not in front of my friends.

"That bitch." Mike growled, turning to go inside but Blaine quickly stopped him.

"Don't Mike. Zero bullying policy." Blaine warns him.

"Were not in school! This," He gestured to my car and back towards me wildly, "is bullying."

"And you could make it a whole lot worse for Brittany if you went in there and argue with them. Just leave it."

"Can w-we go? Please?" I stammer, my eyes still glued to my wrecked car.

"Of course, Britt." Blaine's eyes softened.

The boys lead me to Blaine's car and soon after we were pulling away from my favorite café and were headed towards Dalton Academy.

I don't know what I ever did to Santana and Sam. If I knew I would apologize for it. I just wanted this torture to stop. I don't want to be bullied by them anymore. I've put up with it all my life. They have basically taken my childhood away from me for their own enjoyment. I always told myself when I was younger that everyone had their own problems so they took it out on me so maybe when they have solved their problems we can be friends. That never happened. I gave up on hoping that maybe, just maybe, Santana and I could be friends and that she really wasn't a cold hearted bitch who just picked on me for fun but when high school came and the first day of school I was greeted with a 'welcome to high school bash' from Santana and her friends, I lost hope.

Mike, Blaine and I made our way to their dorm rooms and Mike was quickly on the phone with Kurt Hummel's, Blaine's boyfriend, dad. Burt Hummel owned an auto shop so he could get my car all fixed up for me. Kurt attends my school and we were even in glee club together last year but they never treated me like family as they always tell everyone. They didn't care about my problems and they were too busy fighting each other about who sings which solos to notice that I was slowly losing my mind in the back row of the glee club. Sure, I had my old best friend, Quinn Fabray, there too but she never noticed anything was wrong either.

I haven't seen her since last year. I think she's avoiding me even though she's the one who betrayed me and walked out of my life. Rachel Berry, the star child in glee club, was always saying that were all family and that glee club doesn't judge anyone because they all have their own problems but that wasn't the case at all.

"Burt said that he can fix your car up by tomorrow. You just have to go to the auto shop tomorrow and get your car. Do you need a lift?" Mike asked me as he flops down onto his bed.

"No. I'll just walk there on my way to school." I shrug. I don't really mind walking to school either.

Mike nodded before we all settled down to watch a movie. Of course Blaine picked out The Hunger Games to watch. He has an obsession with the movie and almost every time we decide to have a movie night, Blaine insists we have to watch it.

Blaine drops me off at home at eleven thirty. It was pitch black and I struggled to find my way to the caravan. I stumbled over a few things in the backyard before I finally reached my caravan door.

"Brittany." A stern voice called out just as I was about to open my door. It was my dad's voice.

"Yes?" I manage to get out, turning around slowly. My eyes successfully adjusted to the darkness around me and that's when I saw my dad glaring at me from the back door of the house.

"Where's your car? Don't tell me you managed to fucking lose your car."

"N-no! Someone slashed my tires and damaged my car."

"Well we wouldn't be having this problem right now if you were normal, would we? If you would stop fucking using yourself as a chopping board, people would stop harassing our family about having a devil child."

Ouch. Well that hurt.

"You can't force me to stop because I can't." I told him honestly but it seems like he didn't like that answer at all.

One moment he was standing at the back door and the next he was standing right in front of me slapping me hard in the face. I stumble back a few steps from the impact, whimpering. He brought his hand up and grabbed a fistful of my hair, bringing his face up close to mine so that our faces were just inches away from each other.

"You will stop with all this ridiculous depression bullshit. Do you understand me?" He barks, his spit flying onto my face making me cringe. I couldn't answer him. It's like my body wouldn't do as my brain was telling no, screaming for me to do. "Answer me you stupid child!" Dad let go of my hair and pushed me up against the caravan roughly, the cold metal of the caravan wall making me shiver, before his hand found his way to my neck.

The longer I went without answering the harder he would push his hand toward the caravan, effectively choking me. Right now, I don't even think I could speak with his hand pressing so hard against my neck.

"Okay." I choked out, barely above a whisper. I could feel my air supply running short and I was desperate to get his hands off me. The pain of his hand pressing so hard against my throat brought tears to my eyes for the second time today but this time I let them fall.

He let go of my neck slowly once he heard my answer. I coughed noisily now that I could finally breathe properly and watched him walk back into the house as if nothing happened. I lightly touched my throat and winced when I felt the bruising already start.

xxxxxx

I slumped further down into my chair, my eyes fluttering shut every so often. It's hard to listen in class when you don't understand a single word the teachers saying. Mr. S is going on about how important it is to learn Spanish just in case you need it in the future but if I was honest, I don't think he even knows how to speak Spanish very well himself. I don't think I would ever need Spanish in the future. My dream was always to become a dancer. My parents forced me out of dance classes when high school started because they stated that it was time to realistic.

The bell rang causing me to jump slightly in my seat. I blinked a couple of times to wake myself up fully before lazily getting out of my seat and slinging my bag over my shoulder.

Suddenly, a soft body collided with mine and I couldn't help the surprised squeak that left my lips and I nearly fell over. I looked up and was met with beautiful brown eyes, eyes that belonged to the person that disliked me the most. Santana scowled at and stepped closer to me threateningly. I held my breath as I waiting for her attack but she just stood there, eyes searching my face. This turned everything awkward as I shifted on the spot from foot to foot.

My movement seemed to snap her out of her daze because she quickly stepped back and rushed out of the room leaving me standing in the middle of the now empty classroom feeling confused. I released a shaky breath before slowly making my way out of the classroom for lunch.

I have no clue what just happened. Any other day Santana would've punched my lights out and I think I may have preferred that instead of this confusing feeling that is taking over my whole body.

I quickly grabbed a tray and some food from the cafeteria before making my way to the girl's toilets to eat lunch. I had nowhere to sit in the cafeteria so why sit there with everyone else? Looking at everyone laughing and chatting with their friends just made me jealous and envious of them.

My stall door was kicked open roughly, hitting the wall behind it loudly. Santana stood there with a furious expression planted on her face. She pushed the food and tray out of my hand causing it to fly everywhere. She grabbed my hair, pulled me off my seat and dunked my head in the toilet. She flushed it soon after while my head was still firmly held in there. I could feel my head throbbing as I tried to hold my breath, struggling wildly against her hold. Aren't I human too? What gives everyone the right to bully the fuck out of me when I'm just like them?

Santana released her hold and pulled my head out of the toilet. I gasped, sucking in air as I shuffled back and away from her. Her expression never changed. She didn't care if I died. Why would she? She would probably kill me if she had the chance. How can someone be so heartless to end someone's life? Would that mean I'm heartless if I end my own life?

"If you ever touch me again, your head won't be coming out of that toilet bowl." She spat angrily. "Watch it, Scissor hands."

And with that last warning she was gone.

Water dripped down my face, down onto my clothes instantly dampening the material. I curled up into a ball and did the only thing I could do right now. Cry. People might think I act like a baby but I haven't got a clue what else to do but cry. All my emotions were just getting too much for me and I had to let it out somehow. I had no razor with me right now so how else can I escape from this cruel world?

xxxxxx

This world doesn't understand me. I don't understand me. I'm a waste of space. I don't deserve to live or be happy because I'm me. Why would anyone want me?

Help me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The smell was horrible and the sight wasn't any better. I felt exhaustion rush through my body as another round of vomit came out and out of my mouth into the toilet bowl. The disgusting after taste that took place in my mouth was enough to make me vomit once more. My breathing was ragged and head was throbbing, getting worse every time I heaved up some more contents from my stomach. It was in my hair, coating my chin and my clothes. I turned around reluctantly when I heard my stall door opened, forcing myself to keep myself from vomiting again. My whole body tensed at seeing the person standing above me. Quinn Fabray. She looked different. I wouldn't of recognized her if it wasn't for her familiar hazel eyes that used to give me comfort and love. Quinn had short pink hair that was tied up in two mini pigtails at the back of her head that was once long blonde hair that I always loved, a nose piercing that wasn't there the last time I saw her, a cigarette firmly placed between two fingers and her dark clothes that were so different than her dresses that she used to always wear. This Quinn is not the Quinn that was my best friend but then again, I don't think I knew the old Quinn well enough either. My heart clenched in my chest just thinking about the hateful words that flowed out of Quinn's mouth towards me, breaking me with each jab.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." Quinn scoffed, taking a long drag from the cigarette. Her voice was huskier and lower probably due to the cigarettes she has been smoking.

My body relaxed at her voice that I have just realized that I actually missed. I don't know what happened to her but it seems like both of us have both went down hill since last year. I could tell she was unhappy.

"Um, thanks." I smile nervously as she helped me up. I shook my body out, feeling cramped from being hunched over the toilet bowl for so long.

I don't know how long I have been in the girl's bathrooms for but I do know that my muscles were aching. The smell of my own bile was hanging in the air causing me to cringe.

"No worries, Britt." Quinn smiled weakly at me causing me to glare at her.

"Don't call me that. You lost the right to call me that when you decided to be just like everyone else." I scowled. "You may not know this because it seems like no one else does, I have feelings too. I hurt everyday, not just physically but emotionally too." My voice breaking halfway through the sentence.

I saw Quinn's shoulders deflate in defeat. Footsteps were heard seconds later causing Quinn's eyes widen as she wildly gestured me to escape while I can but I didn't budge. Two big girls and a skinnier girl with a wicked smile came into my view. They strutted over, the skinnier one wrapping an arm around Quinn's shoulder. Quinn glared at her and shrugged off her arm. She handed over her cigarette over to one of the bigger girls before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Introduce us to your friend, Quinnie." The skinnier girl taunted causing Quinn to sigh.

"Britt, uh I mean Brittany, this is The Mack," She pointed to the skinny girl with dark brown hair and tanned skin, " Ronnie," She pointed to one of the bigger girls who had light brown hair and skin nearly as white as mine, " And Sheila" She gestures to the last girl who has black hair and dark skin.

I've heard of these girls before. The Skanks. They were known for spending all their time down under the bleachers smoking and taking drugs. I never expected Quinn to join become one of The Skanks especially because everyone knew Quinn as the innocent Christian girl who would never do something that her parents wouldn't allow but here she is, smoking and hanging out with the most rebellious girls in the school.

I looked into Quinn's eyes, that the dark eyeliner she wore made them stand out even more, and I could clearly see the warning in them.

"I'll give you five dollars if you let me beat her up, Quinn." The Mack nudged her but Quinn sent her a warning glare.

"No one will be bashing Britt, well not in this group. Stick to the freshman nerds." Quinn growled. "Go Britt." She ordered me firmly, stepping aside to let me out of the stall.

"Stop wrecking the fun, Q. Let the girl stay awhile. We won't hurt her." Ronnie rolled her eyes with a mischievous smile.

Quinn sent me an apologetic look before nodding to the girls who stepped back a little. Quinn grabbed my arm carefully, pulling me out of the stall and towards the sink. In the corner of my eye I see the others cringe at the smell but I couldn't care less. My main focus was on the girl that hurt me so much but was being her old self with me. There was a pang in my chest when I saw the familiar look in Quinn's eyes. The one she used to always look at me with.

Quinn slowly helped me clean up, the other three girls watching intently. Their faces held confused looks at Quinn's behavior which confirms my suspicions that Quinn wasn't all soft and sweet anymore, well not to anyone else.

"Can we talk?" Quinn asks as soon as I'm all cleaned up, her voice hushed so her 'friends' couldn't hear.

"About?" I reply, pretending to be clueless.

The truth is that I don't want to talk about what happened last year because it will just hurt even more. It brings up past feelings and emotions which just adds to the many that I'm already struggling with right now.

"You know exactly what I want to talk about. I just want to explain everything that happened. Please." Quinn pleaded. I avoided her pretty eyes as much as I could because I know, and she knows, that one look from her will have me giving in immediately.

"There's nothing to explain, Quinn. Even I couldn't be so heartless to walk out on someone in their darkest moment. Thank you for your help but I really have to go. I'll see you around." I manage to choke out, tears welling up in my eyes as I scurry out of the bathroom as fast as I could.

When I got into the busy hallway I immediately felt claustrophobic from the amount of people swarming around me. Bodies hit into me from every direction as I tried my hardest to regain my footing. I felt like screaming at each and every one of them. My frustration was growing every time I got hit and everything seemed to be closing on me. I needed fresh air and I needed it now.

A soft hand caught my wrist and tugged. Ignoring the pressure on my cuts, I followed the unknown body that was pulling me through the crowd. I couldn't help but let out a tiny smile because for once someone actually acknowledged my distress and helped me.

As soon as we were out the doors of the school I let out a relieved breath, my body relaxing completely from being out of the riot of students. I looked to my left and that's when my relaxing was cut short when I saw it was Santana. Santana Lopez just helped me. Is she feeling alright? Did she mistake me for one of her minions?

"I'm not a cheerio." I blurt out without thinking.

"I know. I'm not stupid, Scissor Hands." Santana scowled at me, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Then why'd you help me?" I asked her, barely above a whisper.

She shrugged her shoulders, avoiding my eyes completely. The school doors burst open seconds later to hollering and shouting. Jocks and cheerleaders rushed over to Santana with wicked smiles on their faces. Sam slung his shoulder around his girlfriend's shoulders and kissed her on the cheek.

"It's about time you got here, Evans." Santana snarled, stepping away from her boyfriend.

"Sorry baby." Sam muttered nervously before his eyes narrowed in on me.

As soon as his eyes landed on me that's when I started running. I could hear a stampede of people run after me, snickering and yelling. My heart beat felt like it was beating out of my chest as the adrenalin rush caught up with me. Stumbling a few times, because unusually clumsy, I make it to my car that was now back to normal with no traces of the damage from the people that were currently running after me had caused.

I can't handle anymore emotional stress today, especially after seeing Quinn. I just have to get out of school.

xxxxxx

The honking of horns and the busy streets down below me was calming. The stillness in the air made me feel like I was safe. No one and nothing can get to me here. It's only me and my conscious. Up here, on a fifty story building roof, I can finally think. I felt like I had some sort of power because everyone, looking like tiny ants, meant nothing to me. Maybe the power I felt was that I finally had power over myself. I could do whatever I wanted without someone's judgment. Sure, I wasn't even allowed up here but no one comes up.

I stood on the edge, enjoying the way a soft breeze hit my tear stained face. Jump and all your problems will be forgotten. Fall and all your worries will fall too. Die and all the bullying, abuse and pain will leave your limp body. I might be destined for hell but that will probably be better than dealing with the treatment that I get every single day.

Nobody needs me so why am I still here? Jump Brittany. You deserve it. Everyone will be happier.

Jump.

I'm worthless.

Do it.

Just take that one little step and feel yourself fall. I'm so broken that I can feel it. Physically feel it. It's affecting my whole body and I just want it to stop. I'm just slowly giving up. School makes me feel like a fucking failure and I just hate it. I hate who I am. I hate everything about me. I'm just a fucking mistake.

Fucking jump Brittany!

I tasted the tears that were sliding down my cheeks that were now mixing with the rain that was falling. I let a small smile on my face as I look up. It's the rain of a thousand souls, tears of a thousand broken people just like me. People like me that didn't have the strength to move on but it didn't mean they weren't strong.

Keep fighting.

I step away from the edge of the building and fall to my knees letting the rain make a steady rhythm on my skin. Tiny droplets burst as they make contact with me. I've always hated the moments after I'm done crying and I just feel emotionless. Numb.

I close my eyes and lie on my back, waiting. Waiting until I feel the rain soften up until I can barely feel it on my damp skin. Everything is alright for now. In this moment I feel calmer than I have been since last year despite what nearly happened.

**Author's note:**

**Hi! I hope you guys liked this chapter. I've got a couple of ideas for this story but I haven't planned it until the final chapter. I'm sort of winging it but I want to know your opinion of it! How do you guys feel about Brittany joining The Skanks? Do you want to meet the rest of her family soon as in her mum and brothers? **

**Oh, and there just might be more to Quinn and Britt's best friend relationship than Britt was letting on ;) There will be more interaction between Quinn and Britt so you can get some answers about what happened with Quinn. There will also hopefully be more interaction with Britt and Santana! I just need to figure out how that's going to happen.**

**Let me know what you think so far and any ideas! Thanks for reading!**

**-Em**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

**Author's note:**

**Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites everyone! Don't worry, things will get happier but right now it's just the start of the story and everything that's happening can't just stop instantly because that is just a bit unrealistic. Warning: There is violence in this chapter so beware! I was going to have Quinn/Skanks in this chapter but I decided to leave to the next chapter or so. You meet the family in this chapter though! And there's brittana interaction in this chapter so I hope that it satisfies everyone who wanted some more brittana. It's not a lot of it but its there.**

**Any ideas, suggestions and opinions are always welcomed! **

**Enjoy (: **

I woke up to a loud knocking sound. Rubbing away the blurriness in my sore eyes, I hauled myself up into a sitting position and groaned in annoyance. I stretched my body in a weird position that I didn't even know how I got into before shuffling to the door sluggishly. My eyes widened slightly when I saw my dad standing there with a annoyed look on his aging face. I scanned his outfit to see that he was wearing casual clothes but they could pass as his dressed up clothes. He must be going out somewhere.

"Brittany, get dressed." Yep, he's going to go somewhere but why would he want to go with me? "We're going to your mum's co-worker's house party." He told me.

"Why do I have to come? You guys never bring me anywhere."

"Your stupid mother had to go and open her mouth. Before this fucking annoying little phase your in now, your mother told her co-workers that she had a daughter. Now their having a party to celebrate the start back at work." Dad rolls his eyes before telling me to get ready quickly because we have to go in about an hour.

I nodded slowly before closing the door. It was dark outside so I must've slept for the whole day. It was Saturday so why wake up early? I liked sleeping. When I sleep it's one of the only times that I can be happy, in my dreams of course, and sometimes I just wish that I could never wake up. Why do I have to wake up when all I'm waking up to is sadness and fear? Sometimes sleep can be my worst enemy too. I get nightmares and I end up waking up drenched in sweat, out of breath and shaken up with fear. Those nights I just wish that I had someone there for me, to wrap their arms around my body and hold me.

I shake my head hoping that my thoughts can somehow be shaken out. Thinking negatively isn't going to help me but I don't really know anything positive to think about either. I take a quick shower, enjoying the burning hot water stinging my skin. My pale skin turned a light shade of pink as I exposed it to the hot water. It hurt in a good sort of way. It didn't make sense but why does it have to make sense to be right?

Reluctantly, I got out of the shower and wiped my body down to get rid of all the water. I pull on tight black skinny jeans, a white long sleeve top and my usual black combat boots. I blow dried my hair and applied a light coat of make-up on to hid the bags under my eyes before tucking my phone into the pocket of my jeans.

Nerves flooded through my body at the thought of stepping into a house full of people that most likely know my history because of the one teenage girl that nearly everyone feared. Being in a school full of students that know about me is no where near as bad as this. I haven't got the pressure of my parents at school but at this party they are going to be there judging me, avoiding me and even pretending they don't know me. One wrong move and there will be some painful consequences that I will have to face.

"Hurry the fuck up Brittany!" I hear my dad yell from inside.

I rush out of my caravan, locking it behind me, and hesitantly stepped into the house that I used to live in. I looked around the house and was surprised to see that not much has changed.

"Britty!" A young voice caught my attention.

My eyes narrowed in onto my three year old brother Jaycee. The usual pink tinge on his cheeks made smile at the familiar sight. He hugged my leg tightly as my other brothers came downstairs. There was Kaylin, five, Konrad, seven, Bobbie, eight, Jayden, twelve, Geovanni and Enzo, fifteen and finally, Kodi, sixteen. My smile faltered as soon as I saw my mum looking at me with an unreadable expression on her sickly pale face. My heart clenched in the worse way possible as I looked into her dull blue eyes.

"Were going to be late. Brittany, take Kodi, Geovanni, Enzo and Jayden." My mum told me emotionlessly, tearing her eyes away from my sad gaze.

Of course she only lets me take the older kids. I don't understand why she thinks that I would hurt my brothers! The only person I want to hurt is myself. Can't she trust me? Of course not. Useless hoping.

"Okay mum." Testing out the word that I haven't said out loud for so long.

"Don't call me that, you little brat!" Mum snapped at me harshly, finally showing me some emotion.

I stood there watching her storm out of the house, shocked by her sudden outburst. My brothers watched in silence but the silence was soon broken by my dad clearing his throat awkwardly from the front door, gesturing for all of us to get out. My brothers never liked seeing what mum and dad do to me. I'm not sure if my parents do the same thing to them because I hardly see them but I hope not. My brother's don't deserve that. I might deserve it but not my innocent little brothers.

The car ride to mum's co-worker's house was a loud one. My brother's filled me in what's happening at their school and how everything else has been going. My parents sent Kodi, Enzo and Geovanni to Carmel High just in case they come to my school and I interact with them. Personally I think they are taking this 'hurting my brothers' thing a bit too far but actually it was Santana who took all of this too far in the first place. She must have made it out to make me sound like a monster or even contagious so that's why everyone's staying away from me, not that they didn't all stay away from me before they found out but this is way worse than before.

xxxxxx

It was Santana's mum's party. Santana's mum, Maria, is my mum's co-worker. Just my fucking luck. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, I'm forced to stay in a house to 'party' with my bully. Tonight won't end well at all. If I don't get hurt by my dad I most definitely will get hurt by my bully. I have to admit that Santana's house was pretty fancy. I watched as people walked in and out of the house laughing and talking with fancy champagne glasses in their delicate hands just mocking me. Mocking me with their happiness. Mocking me with their carefree lives. Santana sat on the porch like a creep just watching everyone arrive. She was bored. I can tell when she is bored because I spent most of my school life with her in boring as fuck classes.

"Brittany, come on." Kodi nudged me and rolled his eyes, my other brothers were already getting out of the car to meet up with the rest of my 'family'.

I inhaled deeply, mentally preparing myself for the worst before stepping out of my car and following the crowd of people to the front door of the house. It felt like the school hallways in this house because of everyone bumping and hitting into me. Everyone seemed all rich and stuck up but they sure didn't have manners that any random stranger would've assumed they had just by looking at them.

Santana's brown orbs locked onto mine and I was surprised to find her send me a soft smile. I frowned at her in confusion before I was knocked into the house. I looked around frantically for somewhere that I could go so I can just be by myself but all I saw were people. Too much people for my liking.

The soft music in the background annoyed the hell out of me and the constant chatter just made it worse. I could see my dad already heading towards the kitchen to look for drinks while my mum introduced my little brothers to all her friends. A weird feeling made its way into my stomach as I watched the scene in front of me. I quickly recognized the feeling was that I was going to vomit. This is the worst time ever that I could do something like that yet I felt my insides shake from the upcoming vomit that was bound to happen any minute now. Hold it in, Brittany. Run upstairs and do it there. Your dad won't find out, no one will.

Just as I'm about to run upstairs, a hand grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. It was my mum, Santana and Maria. My mum was smiling that fake smile that she always seemed to use as she talked to Maria, introducing me. I couldn't hear anything about what they were saying; I wasn't even looking at them. All I could focus on was the vomit slowly making its way up, the sickness that I felt this very moment and the need to run away from the scene. I glanced up quickly to see Santana looking at me with a concerned look on her face while the two older women continued to talk, oblivious to my obvious struggle.

"Brittany, are you even listening to us?" My mum snaps at me for the second time today.

I look up and before I can stop it, vomit was flying out of my mouth and onto my mum. Everyone went silent around us and all that could be heard with the gagging noises that I was making while I clutched my stomach tightly, bending over slightly. From the corner of my eye I see Santana and her mother look at me with a disgusted expression on their faces while my mum and dad were both fuming with anger. I could practically see steam coming out of their ears.

My dad stormed up to me and grabbed my wrist tightly which made me cry out in pain because of the cuts underneath my thin sleeve. I looked down to see the white sleeve of my top slowly become red as he dragged me upstairs. People began talking again, most likely about me, ignoring us completely. Once we made it upstairs that when I started tugging away from him, trying to get away from what was about to happen.

"No! Dad! Stop it. Please. It was an accident." I pleaded frantically. "No! No! Stop!" I screamed as he threw me into an empty bedroom, my left side hitting into the wall painfully.

I heard the faint sound of the lock clicking into place and before I knew it, I was locked in a room with a man that could potentially end my life whenever he wanted. I think he is dragging it out though, waiting until I do it myself so he can enjoy it more.

"You're a fucking disgrace to this family! How can you embarrass us like that? We have left you alone in that little caravan of yours and we even provide whatever you need but this is what you do to us when we ask for one little favor? You might as well be dead because that's what you are to us. You're dead to us. You're not our daughter and you never will be. I don't get how a little shit like you could possibly be born into this family." My dad yells and with every insult I felt myself getting more scared.

"Come on," I teased, faking confidence, "Kill me."

"Don't push your luck you little shit."

"My luck?" I chuckle darkly, "I don't have any fucking luck. I don't have a fucking family or even friends. Kill me. I have nothing to lose."

I could see him getting angrier by the second and I instantly felt like I made a mistake. Before I could even take it back, my dad was hitting me so hard at the back of my head that blood came out of my mouth. I choked loudly on the blood as I tumbled to the floor. This is what you wanted, Brittany. You asked him to kill you so he is actually doing what you say for once.

"Is that all you've got?" I manage to get out which only landed me a kick in the stomach from him. "Come on, daddy. Kill your little girl." I taunt weakly, wiping some blood off my chin.

"Shut up. Shut the fuck up."

"Make me." I challenged.

If I died tonight I want to know that I stood up to my dad at least once in my life.

Dad was about to pounce on me but quickly changed his mind. Realization hit him, hard. He was in somebody else's house, in some random person's room and he was about to kill me or at least beat me up until I'm knocked out. Everyone saw him come up here with me so he will be caught and arrested. He slowly backed out of the room but not before threatening me not to tell anyone it was him who did it.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Finally I was alone, in pain but I could get over that. I know I deserved it and I knew that it would've been better if I died tonight. It's selfish of me to be glad that I got to keep my life.

Loud footsteps interrupted my alone time. I looked up to see Santana in the doorway with a shocked face. I just glared at her and rolled over so that my back was facing her. I heard her scoff before she rushed over to me, kneeling in front of my face.

"It's my room; you can't ignore me in my own room." Santana rolled her eyes at me as she reached out and touched my stomach lightly, just above where I was clutching causing me to whimper pathetically.

"I'll leave." I sit up slightly, wincing.

"Don't be stupid. Just get up off my carpet and stop getting blood all over it. The bathrooms down the hall."

I made my way over to the bathroom and cleaned up all the blood. My teeth were stained with blood and so were my lips, chin and neck. I cursed inwardly as the blood crept onto my white top. My body was so sore. I was always sore but it's not always my fault. My body is exhausted. It's worn out. It's just begging me to give up and stop.

"Here." Santana mumbled as she chucked me some new clothes. I smiled gratefully before closing the door of the bathroom and getting changed.

Why was she being so nice to me?

When I walked back into Santana's room, she was already under the covers texting on her phone. I didn't know what to do. Should I say bye and just leave her house or should I stay and talk to her? She helped me out which is a nice change but she could easily change back into her usual self and attack me.

"Hi…" I awkwardly scratch the back of my neck as I try to make conversation.

"You can go now. Just because I gave you some clothes, let you use my bathroom and let you bleed on the carpet doesn't mean we're best buddies." Santana scowled, glancing up at me.

"I-I, thank you." I stammer out, turning around swiftly to leave her room.

"Hey," Santana's voice stopped me but I didn't turn around, "You shouldn't let him do those things to you. Fight back."

"Easier said than done." I tell her softly.

I don't know if I like nice Santana better than mean Santana. With mean Santana I know what to expect but when she's nice it just makes me nervous.

"Do you, uh, want to stay the night or something? You know, cause' your dad will be at your house and after what he did I don't think you would want to go back home." Santana rambled as I turned around and looked at her with a questioning look.

"And I would want to stay here with someone who has done the exact same thing to me like my dad?"

Santana cringed and crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

"I was just trying to be polite." Santana muttered, avoiding my gaze.

"Okay." I sigh out knowing that I'm probably going to regret this decision.

"Okay? As in you will stay tonight?" Santana questioned with a small smile. I nodded slightly. "Okay." She shrugs it off and pats the spot next to her.

I stumble my way over to the side of the bed and slipped under the covers making sure there was a reasonable distance between me and the beautiful Latina. We looked at each other awkwardly for a bit before she shuffled closer to me and wrapped her arms around my body, cradling me. I gasped in shock at her being so close to me but calmed down soon after when I realized she was just trying to help. I think she felt sorry for what happened earlier with me and my dad.

It's weird to think that the person that hurt me the most is now comforting me right now. What's even weirder is that I actually like being in my bully's arms. I couldn't hold back the tears that spilled down my cheeks as Santana gently rocked us back and forth. I was so exhausted that all that I could do was cry and let Santana hold me together. I knew after tonight that everything will go back to normal. Santana will go back to school and act like the biggest bitch to me with her friends and she will forget all about tonight.

I cuddled closer to her and sunk into her warm embrace even more. I'm not going to forget this because someone is actually comforting me and holding me for the first time in a while. It might not mean anything to her but it means a lot to me.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

I woke up to an empty bed. The coldness of the sheets was calming as they pressed against my heated skin. I looked around briefly for Santana and quickly realized that she wasn't anywhere in the room. I could hear nothing but silence. It seemed like either everyone was out or sleeping but why would they leave me in their house alone? Why would Santana leave me in her room alone after a whole night of comforting me? I thought we were getting somewhere.

A bright yellow sticky note on the bedside table caught my eye. I quickly sat up and snatched it up into my hand. Santana's neat but lazy cursive writing littered the small piece of paper.

_Your welcome for last night but you can go home now. I'm out with the cheerios so you have until 1:30 pm to leave my house. My parents should be out at work. Don't touch anything. See you at school on Monday, Scissor Hands._

_-Santana._

I sighed loudly and felt the familiar presence of a pout gracing my face when she used one of the nicknames that I hated with a passion. I glanced over to the alarm clock on her bedside table to see it was 10:00 am. I still had time to get out of here but why would I stay here any longer than I needed?

I swung my legs over the side of the bed which caused half of the blankets to fall off but I just ignored it. I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my dirty pile of clothes from last night. I had nothing else to wear except for the clothes that Santana gave me to sleep in. I made my way downstairs noticing the emptiness and lifeless state of the big house. This house was more for show, not a place that the family can feel like they can be comfortable and be themselves.

I left the house, slamming the door shut behind me before hopping into my car. I groaned when I felt my stomach ache from where my dad had kicked last night. I lifted my hand up and felt around the back of my head only to pull my hand away swiftly and hiss in pain, my fingers covered in a mixture of fresh blood and dried up blood. There was a dull ache in the back of my head that was constantly throbbing but I tried my best to ignore the fast paced beat that surround my head. I might have to go to the hospital for this wound since I can't see it and I have no clue on how I'm supposed to attend to it. My stomach should just suffer from some bruising, nothing too serious.

I pulled out my phone from my jean pocket and sent out a text to ask Mike and Blaine if they were busy. I wanted to get their opinion on if I should go to the hospital or just suck it up and grow some lady balls. I hope I don't have to go to the hospital though. I hate hospitals.

xxxxxx

I shivered as the cold wind swept over my body, making its way through the tiny holes in my over sized grey sweater. The dark clouds that covered the entire sky told me that it was going to start pissing down rain any moment now which made me tap my fingers nervously against the cold metal seat I was sitting on. More and more tired looking students shuffled their way towards the bus stop I was sitting at. They looked like a horde of zombies. Luckily, there were no cheerleaders or jocks that I could see that was catching this bus to school. I would have preferred to take my car to school but Mike and Blaine told me that I shouldn't drive since I'm in pain. Apparently it could make me 'unfocused' so here I am, sitting at the bus stop at seven in the morning to catch the bus with a whole lot of other students that were forced to take the bus.

In the distance I could see the yellow school bus taking it's time to get to us. I bet the bus driver was doing this on purpose. He probably wanted us to freeze to death so he can go and get a real job.

Finally, the bus stopped in front of us and the students piled into it. I quickly slid into a seat in the middle row hoping that no one would notice me. Maybe I could blend in with everyone else. Kids scrambled out of the seats in the back when they saw The Skanks get onto the bus. I rarely catch the bus but even I know that The Skanks 'owned' the backseats of the bus.

Quinn made eye contact with me briefly before looking away and following the rest of her group to the back of the bus. I scowled as I watched smirks appearing on their faces when people cowered in fear just because they walked past them. It must feel good in a sick sort of way to have that power over people. I don't know who gave them the power for them to think they controlled us but it looks like the cheerleaders, jocks and The Skanks were the lucky ones.

The whole bus ride to school I could feel the constant feel of eyes watching me, burning two perfect holes into the back of my head from the girl that I used to admire so much. It was an uncomfortable feeling but it also made me smile a bit because she took the time to acknowledge me. I guess I missed her attention.

When the bus stopped in front of my own personal hell that was called school, I shot up into a standing position. I was ready to get off the bus as soon as possible. The less people that are surrounding me, the more comfortable I felt. I pushed my way through the crowd and quickly found myself in my Spanish classroom alone. I know I'm early but I would rather be in here and wait until my class started instead of waiting in the hallways aimlessly. I would be lying if I said that I felt safer in school if a teacher was near me but I, and everyone else, knew a teacher near me wouldn't stop the bullying that I receive. If I tell a teacher about the bullying that was happening, it will just make everything worse. The bullies will most likely seek revenge. Teachers and adults don't understand us.

"Brittany!" Rachel Berry's annoying voice interrupted my thoughts. I forgot how much I disliked her presence. I spend most of my time in glee club trying to tune her out.

Rachel hasn't changed since the last time I saw her. She still wore her sweaters with animals on them, her nose was still extremely large, she wore her usual short plaid mini skirts that were short enough to be teasing but ugly enough to be a boner killer, her brown leather grandpa shoes were still there and so were the colourful socks. Was she in my Spanish class? I don't remember her being in this class but it's possible that I could have easily missed her since I space out a lot.

"Yes, Rachel?" I sigh out, trying to contain my growing frustration.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to join the glee club. Your dancing skills were quite talented and even though your voice isn't as strong as mine, we could still use an extra voice in The New Directions." Rachel spoke in her usual rapid pace.

"No." I answered back bluntly, walking to my usual table and sitting down.

Rachel, being her usual annoying self, followed me to my table rambling about how glee club hasn't been the same without me. I know that's not true at all. No one noticed if I was there or not and no one really cared that I had left school last year because of what happened. They never visited or tried to figure out what was going on. They all believed Santana. Why wouldn't they? It was me against the head cheerleader. Of course, everyone chose Santana because they thought it was 'social suicide' to take the nerd's side.

"Rachel, I said no." I told her as firmly as I could but she just rolled her eyes at me and continued talking.

"I'm pretty sure she said no, man-hands." Santana's loud and raspy voice cut Rachel's speech short.

My eyes widened slightly when Rachel squeaked loudly and ran out of the classroom. I quirked an eyebrow up at Santana in question but she just shrugged slightly and walked towards me. She hopped up onto my table and sat in front of me with her legs dangling on either side of mine. I felt my cheeks heat up at the position we were in and I could feel the familiar feeling going on in my pants. This was not a good time to get turned on.

"I could've handled her you know?" I mutter, eyes downcast as I try not to look at her body.

"You keep telling yourself that. Let me know when you start believing it." She chuckled darkly, grabbing my chin roughly and tilting my head up so she could see my face. "If anyone finds out about me helping you, you're dead. This is how it's gonna work, you will continue being your normal loser self and I will continue treating you like crap because it is fucking funny seeing you in pain. Don't think anything that happened will change how this school and this non-exist relationship works." She growled, letting go of me before walking over to her seat.

The bell rang loudly and the teacher stumbled into the room looking flustered. I smiled internally and looked at him with a knowing gaze. He was clearly with Emma. Over the years of knowing Mr. Shue, I had seen him fall head over heels for the red haired teacher. She seems to feel the same way too. It's cute.

We were told we had a big assignment coming up. We could choose whether to work alone or in pairs. I knew I was working alone, as usual. Everyone jumped out of their chairs excitedly and went over to their friends to discuss the work while I just looked on longingly. I couldn't help but let my eyes wonder over to Santana. She was sitting at the back of the classroom with Sam talking non-stop. She wasn't listening at all, anyone could tell. Sam obviously was too dumb to notice that his girlfriend didn't give a shit about what he said and was more interested in her nails.

My heart pounded in my chest when Santana looked up, locking eyes with mine. What surprised me was that she didn't break eye contact at all. Her eyes were hypnotizing. An unreadable look was in her deep brown eyes and it made me squirm uncomfortably. She smirked slightly at me which made butterflies flutter around in my stomach for some unknown reason. I reluctantly broke the eye contact and turned back around to do my work. I didn't understand what I'm supposed to do and it's even harder because it's in a different language.

Time flew past quickly from then on and soon the bell dismissing us from school was ringing loudly. I took my time to get to the bus stop. The less time with everyone there, the happier I will be. I slowed down even more when I realized who was at the bus stop. Santana was leaning against the bus stop wall while Sam hovered over her, one hand resting on the wall next to Santana's head holding his weight up. Once again, Santana was examining her nails as Sam whispered in her ear.

Sam turned around and smiled mischievously at me, muttering something under his breath. Whatever he muttered made Santana's eyes shoot up and look up me. She tugged Sam by the t-shirt, trying to bring him closer to her but Sam just shrugged her off. I backed up a few steps but it was too late, he was face to face with me. He grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and lifted me slightly off the ground.

"Look who it is! Pierce decided to pay us a visit." Sam snickered, gaining everyone's attention.

I could feel my sweater rising up which made me internally panic. What would everyone think if they see my bruises? Santana seemed to think to same thing and stormed up to her boyfriend, shoving him slightly.

"Let it go, Sam. She's not worth it." Santana mumbled.

"We all know she's not worth anything but its still fun to see her in pain."

"Sam, stop it."

"What the fuck is wrong with you Santana?" Sam barked, dropping me and shoving Santana roughly. "Why the hell are you standing up for this bitch?" Sam questioned, annoyed. He pushed down onto the ground harshly.

"Get up and fight him, Pierce." I was roughly pulled up off the ground by The Mack. "Fight him and no one will hurt you again, not in this school." She discreetly slipped a pocket knife in my hand.

I ran my thumb over the sharp blade, slicing some of the skin open and coating the blade in a deep red colour. I couldn't care less about the pain in my finger. All I could hear was the blood rushing through my body and my heart beating loudly in my chest. The crowd of students around us began chanting 'fight' which just got my adrenalin pumping even more. The Mack pushed me towards Sam encouragingly.

I couldn't stab him even if I wanted to. It was some silly high school fight. If I stab him it will turn into something bigger than just a little fist fight. I was confused and angry. I was confused as to why The Mack was helping me and I was angry that Sam had pushed Santana. He was currently yelling at Santana who looked just as angry as he did. They always disagreed and fought but this was more intense then usual.

"Santana, you are seriously not suggesting that we just leave this loser alone." Sam huffed out in frustration.

Santana wanted him to leave me alone? I clearly remember her telling me that our relationship hasn't changed at all. Why was she trying to help me now? I felt a tug on my shoulder. I turned around to see The Skanks waiting for me to stab the crap out of Sam but I just shook my head slightly and held out my hand with the knife in it. The Mack took it out of my hand while rolling her eyes before shoving it into her pocket.

"I'm not fucking suggesting that we give her a free pass to slushy us, I'm just suggesting that we drop it this one time because there is no point!"

The crowd had moved their attention to the fighting couple, completely forgetting about me. I could see the vein popping out in Santana's neck as she grew angrier and angrier. Sam's face was bright red, almost as red as a tomato. It was actually a pretty funny sight to see. The power couple making a scene has never had me more interested before.

"Both of you shut the fuck up and get on the bus." Puck, Sam's best friend, grabbed both of their arms and tried to drag them onto the bus I didn't even realize was there.

Sam protested at first, glaring holes into Santana's head, until he finally pulled his arm out of Puck's grip and stormed onto the bus. Santana shot me a weak smile and I could see her eyes briefly travel to my stomach as if she could see the bruises through the material before she followed her boyfriend onto the bus. Puck shoved a random nerd against the bus to warn anyone who was staring was going to get the same thing happen to them if they didn't stop and then he made his way onto the bus.

This is why I hate taking the bus, too much drama.

xxxxxx

I stepped off the bus, dried grass crunched beneath my feet as I cautiously took a few steps forward. The Skanks piled out behind me with cigarettes already planted firmly between two fingers, the end of the cigarette burning quickly. Ronnie had invited me to hang out at her house with the rest of her group when we were on the bus. I'm pretty sure it's Quinn who is making these girls help me out because she feels sorry for me. I don't want her sympathy though. It would be nice to know why Quinn walked out of my life and I guess the only way to get answers from her is to actually start talking to her again. Maybe I can earn myself a few friends along the way, not that they are the kind of friends that any parent would want their child to associate with.

I followed the group of rebellious teenagers into the small house. The walls were off-white and had cracks covering them. The floor boards creaked with every step that we took and there were clothes, books and other unknown objects lying around on the floor. The house looked like it was going to fall apart. I was honestly a bit scared that the ceiling was going to cave in on us at any second but I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. We walked into Ronnie's room and it was actually the cleanest room in the house, surprisingly. There was a big king sized bed, a desk and a dresser. It wasn't much but she seemed to be content with what she had.

"So, why did you want me to come here?" I finally decided to ask the question that had been floating around in my head for the whole bus ride to Ronnie's house.

"Quinn." Ronnie shrugged slightly, gesturing towards Quinn who had a deep blush coating her cheeks. I knew Quinn was behind all of this.

"U-uh, I just wanted to talk to you about what happened. I wanted to tell you the truth." Quinn looked at me sincerely, just begging me to trust them beautiful hazel eyes once again.

Ronnie, Sheila and The Mack slowly walked out of the room slowly, leaving Quinn and I alone. Quinn grabbed my hand softly and smiled. I could feel myself slowly giving in to Quinn. Even after all she did to me I felt like I couldn't reject her. I knew how reject felt so why would I want Quinn, or anyone else, feel that way?

"Okay, tell me the truth to why you were the biggest bitch ever."

**Author's note:**

**Sorry it took so long to update! Life got in the way and exams but I eventually got a chapter down. It's kind of a filler but its better then nothing, eh?**

**Review, favorite, follow! Thanks for reading (:**

**-Em**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

I sat on Ronnie's bed as Quinn paced the floor in front of me trying to work up the courage to tell me why she abandoned me last year. Sure, my patience was slowly running out but I just sat there watching her have an inner battle with herself. I was having my own inner battle about Santana. She has been on my mind a lot lately, more than usual and her strange but nice actions didn't really help me get her out of my head. Thoughts how Santana deserved better than Sam and how much better I could treat her came into my mind which only made me internally roll my eyes at myself.

"The news about you cutting was just an easy way out for me." Quinn blurted out as she halted her pacing and turned towards me. I looked up with her with a mix between a hurt and confused look on my face. Maybe I really wasn't ready to hear the whole story behind her actions.

"Well at least one of us got the easy way out." I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"That came out wrong." Quinn huffed, sitting down next to me. "Remember that sleepover last year that I bailed out of last minute?" I nodded. "I told you that I had to stay home and help my mum do something but I lied. I lied to you and I still feel guilty about it." She chuckles helplessly to herself. "Puck invited me to a party that night."

"You lied to me to go to some stupid party? I bet Puck, Sam and Santana fucking brainwashed you into hating me!" I growled out, my nose flaring in anger at the thought.

"Just listen to me!" She pleaded desperately. I crossed my arms over my chest defensively before nodding for her to continue. "That sleepover I was going to tell you how I feel about you." She exhaled deeply, nervously.

"Felt about me?"

I had no idea what she was talking about.

"I have had a crush on you for years. As if you didn't see that in all those years that we were best friends. You are the only person that can read me the best and you couldn't see that I was head over heels for you. It hurt every time you talked about someone else that you thought was hot or that you had a crush on because I wanted it to be me you were talking about. I wanted to be with you but I was a coward. I backed out of the sleepover last minute because I was too much of a coward to tell you how I felt about you."

I sat there, mouth hanging open, trying to take in all the information. Quinn liked me all those years? How could I have missed that? Thinking back on it now it's so obvious. The little things, like holding hands and kissing cheeks, I just thought were typical best friend behavior so I used to just go along with it without even realizing that Quinn had a crush on me.

"I went to Puck's party that night," She continued, "He got me a few drinks and we got drunk. I guess I just wanted to forget about you because clearly you weren't interested. Puck was willing and I needed something to help me get over you. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with the douche bag."

"You lost your virginity when you were drunk? With Fuckerman?" I questioned, eyes wide in disbelief. I couldn't believe it. Quinn used to always talk about how she wanted her first time to be special and with the one she loved but then she goes off with Puck and fucks him while they are drunk? How… romantic?

"Yes, I stupidly lost my virginity with Puck and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Santana, Puck and Sam told me if I continued to hang out with you they would spread around the school that I had sex with Puck. You know how fast rumors spread around town and I didn't want my parents to hear about it! They also threatened to make my life a living hell and to hurt you even more which they seemed to do that anyway." Quinn told me, her eyes full of shame and regret.

"Well, if you have this whole 'I don't give a fuck what people think 'cause I'm a Skank' thing going on, why would the rumor matter? They couldn't make your life a living hell because no one touches The Skanks and like you said, they hurt me even more anyway so why did you do it? They are not the real reasons why. I may not have known about you liking me but I can still read you pretty damn well and I know you're lying."

When she didn't say anything, I grabbed her chin softly and lifted her head up slightly so she would look into my eyes. Her hazel eyes glistened with unshed tears and they had a red tinge to them. She looked defeated and exhausted. I wonder if that's how I look after I cry, so broken.

"I got pregnant." She whispered, finally letting her tears fall.

"You what?" I take my hand away from her face and back away slightly.

"There was no condom. We didn't even think about protection because we were so drunk."

"W-what happened to the baby?" I asked quietly.

"It's not what you think. I would never take a baby's life, especially not mine but it seems like Puck didn't feel the same way. He beat the crap out of me, aiming mainly at my stomach and… prevented it." She sobbed out the last words.

How can someone be so cruel? What the hell would be going through Puck's head to make him kill his own baby? I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arms around her small body as she cried. My thoughts went back to the night when Santana held me when I cried. It felt good and it helped me so maybe this would help Quinn too. I had no idea what to tell her to comfort her. I know I was angry as hell at Puck. Stupid teenage boy. I bet he will regret what he did later in life. I will make him regret it.

"After that happened I was so upset and when I found out about you cutting I left like everyone else because I thought you would be ashamed of me and leave me anyway. I was so scared. I had no one too. The Skanks found me under the bleachers crying when I found out you stopped coming to school. It was probably my fault because you had no one at school to help you through your problems. They helped me surprisingly. They all have their own problems so they didn't judge me and I joined their group. No one bullied me at all and it felt good having power over people but all that ran through my mind when I was with The Skanks was, 'What was Brittany doing right now?' or 'If Brittany joined The Skanks too, no one would ever bully her again'." Quinn wiped her eyes to rid the tears and pulled out of my embrace to sit properly. "I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out with us for now on. The girls are alright with it and I've wanted to ask you ever since you actually came back to school."

"Uh, sure." I smiled, it would be nice to have some friends at school again and some of the bullying will stop once I become a Skank. It's a win-win situation.

I'm not sure if I'm completely friends with Quinn again but I'm glad I know the truth now. I don't think I can handle myself if I see Puck again. I will probably go crazy on him and bash the fuck out of him.

"Good. We have to change up your look a bit though." Quinn smiles back at me with a bright smile, taking my hand and leading me out of Ronnie's room to find the girls.

xxxxxx

"Quinn, knock it off." I giggled as I shoved her slightly.

She had dressed me up in a black long sleeved top with a jean vest on top, black ripped skinny jeans and black combat boots. My hair was up in a high ponytail and she kept tugging on it as we walked to school. She was unusually hyper and excited this morning. I could see Ronnie getting frustrated with her, Sheila was just ignoring us and The Mack was laughing along with us. There were the usual butterflies that were flying around in my stomach but it was more excited than nervous. I never thought I would ever get to call myself a Skank and it surprisingly felt good.

"Are you ready, Pierce?" The Mack smirked at me.

"I think so." I smile nervously just as the school comes into view.

"Whose idea was it to walk to the fucking school? I can feel my fat falling off." Ronnie complained, huffing loudly.

"Isn't that a good thing?" The Mack chuckled, sticking out her tongue at Ronnie.

"Shut up, I like my curves."

Just as The Mack was about to open her mouth to say a smartass comment back, Quinn elbowed her in the stomach successfully causing her to shut up. I could already see people in the car park looking at us with confused looks on their faces and I couldn't help but smirk at them. It was a better reaction than what I usually get. There was only a couple hateful looks but others cowered away in fear. I made it through the car park and to my locker without getting bothered at all. Sheila, Ronnie, The Mack and Quinn all suggested I should just skip Spanish I quickly rejected that idea. It was the only class I had with Santana. I don't know why it mattered so much but I wanted to show Santana I have changed and she can't treat me like crap anymore. Having Sam in that class too was just an added bonus. I basically kicked open the door of my Spanish classroom, startling everyone inside, before walking slowly to my usual seat. The teacher was staring daggers into my back because I was late and I could feel everyone else staring at me too. I was certain one of those stares belonged to Santana's beautiful brown eyes.

"Okay, everyone can get with their partners and start with their work. For those who are working independently, you can pop in your headphones." Mr. Shue told the class once I sat down in my seat. Everyone got up and lazily made their way to their partners like they did yesterday and once again, I sat by myself. I put in my headphones and took out my work.

A persistent tapping on my shoulder startled me back to reality; my headphones were ripped out of my ears and thrown into my lap. I looked up to see Santana's annoyed looking face staring back at me.

"Who are you working with?" Santana whispered out, looking around the room quickly.

"N-no one." I stammered slightly.

"Well, you're going to work with me because you got Sam and me into a fight yesterday. I don't want to work with him because he is being a dickhead." Santana sat in the chair next to mine, slouching glumly.

"Oh, continue telling me your problems Santana. Just call me Dr. Phil and I'm all yours for an hour." I chuckle sarcastically, popping in my headphones again and letting the loud music block out my surroundings once again.

They were quickly ripped out again which made me groan in frustration. Santana was looking at me expectedly but I had no clue what she wanted. I'm going to be honest and say that I actually want to work with Santana. I've always wanted to work with Santana even after she had been the biggest bitch to me because something about her just grabs my attention but I hate how she treats me like crap and gives me hell and then one word from her or one touch can make me give in to her instantly.

"Brittany, can you actually acknowledge me? Am I not interesting enough?" She smirks suggestively at me. My cheeks heated up in embarrassment at her suggestive tone which causes her to giggle slightly.

Her hand landed on my thigh as she leant in to read the work that I have done. Her delicious smell invaded my nose and my eyes fluttered shut. It was like she was trying to get me all hot and bothered on purpose. She watched as she glanced over at me quickly, judging my reaction before sliding her hand up a bit higher on my leg with a smug smirk on her face. My whole body jerked slightly and I was quick to pull her hand away from me. She laughed loudly at my struggle.

"What are y-you doing? Let's just work." I muttered, panics rising in my chest as I discreetly cross one leg over the other to hide my growing member.

"You're no fun." Santana pouted and I felt my heart melt at the sight. How can someone go from sexy to cute in a second? I can't decide if she hates me or not. "Anyway, why are you dressing like that now? I mean, you always dress kinda like that but why have you joined The Skanks?" She asks me curiously.

I shifted uncomfortably, my member uncomfortably hard. I could either stay here or try to keep up a conversation with the person who is making me hard or I can go to the bathroom and take care of my growing arousal.

"Why do you care?" I question, trying to stay calm.

"I don't. I just, I don't think you should be apart of The Skanks."

"Once again, why do you even care?"

"I don't!" She shouted loudly, glaring at me in annoyance.

"Santana, be quiet!" scolds her causing her to shove me roughly, making me fall off my chair and landing on my side with a big 'thud'. People started laughing loudly at me as helped me up.

Santana kicked her chair back as she stood up and grabbed her bag while looking at me with an almost apologetic look before walking out of the classroom. I quickly shoved everything in my bag while trying to hide my face from everyone as embarrassment washed over me and made my face bright red. I stormed out of the classroom, ignoring 's calling my name to come back and made my way out of the school building. I jogged the rest of the way towards the bleachers and made my way under to see my new group of friends sitting on an old abandoned couch smoking. Quinn shot up onto her feet and hugged me tightly when she saw my embarrassed and humiliated face.

"What happened, Britt?" She questioned me, worry laced in her voice.

"Nothing major. Just Santana being the usual bitch she is." I shrug, pulling away from her and sitting down on the couch where Quinn was previously sitting.

"Nothing can change overnight, not even if you join The Skanks. Santana is hard to control and no matter what group your in or who you are, once you're her target its hard to get out of her bullying ways." Sheila told me through a cloud of smoke.

"I learnt that at a very young age." I shook my head with a sad chuckle.

"Do you want a smoke?" Ronnie offered, ending the subject about Santana quickly.

"Try it." Quinn encouraged, holding out her already lit cigarette. It was slowly burning through the white paper.

I hesitantly took the cigarette out of her hand and held it up to my lips, inhaling deeply. I instantly started coughing causing smoke to come flying back out of my mouth making the others start laughing at me.

"That's normal for the first time, don't worry Britt." Quinn giggled, taking back her cigarette.

I coughed once more before sending them a weak smile. The Mack came over and sat on my lap and I'm thankful that all the humiliation got rid of my boner because if it didn't, The Mack would have been met with a big surprise.

"You will get used to it. There's still so much you haven't tried." She smirked slightly.

I have a feeling that these girl's are going to help change my life, hopefully for the better.


End file.
